I have already talked about this topic but never actually properly followed the words i said. I claimed that it’s always good to take a break from the ‘real life’ and let yourself immerse into everyday without planning, calculating, analysing, planning some more and furthermore losing the feeling of what is actually going on around you. Always organising for tomorrow, next week, next month, not actually living the today. It seemed the days were passing while I was constantly waiting for this Saturday, for the beginning of next week, for finally finishing this season or starting a fresh new year. Because I thought the mistakes made today should be deleted and forgotten tomorrow, for a fresh new start. Instead of reflecting, thinking and concluding I always wanted to move on, run away and escape from a normal everyday life to somewhere unknown. Why? I have no idea, but the urge to escape was there and it was intense.
Thus, I took two months off. I stepped out of my comfort zone. Which was an intensely scary step because I didn’t know what was awaiting for me tomorrow, while I haven’t planned it. I relaxed and let it completely off this summer. And honestly, it was the most re-freshing decision I made. Less of planning and analysing and more of thinking, rethinking and reflecting. I am back with a fresh new mind, lots of ideas, projects and inspiration and very little planning or predictions of what will happen. I don’t mind it, I will live it as it comes and not regret every single mistake I make, as I used to. Because, as cliche as it sounds, truly, every day is unique in its own and should be used fully.
After my absence on social media accounts I am back with this killer, classy outfit with a little twist. I like it like that. When you can mix a feminine outfit with a hidden surprise. Not wearing one essential piece of clothing such as shirt, bra or pants seems to be not only physically freeing but also mentally. Try, combine, twist, add and then remove. See what happens when you don’t follow the traditional path.
blazer – Mango | Bra – Monki | pants – &Other Stories | shoes – Zara
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THE subject of freedom is complex. And sensitive. It could definitely seem selfish, subjective and egoistical. You have everything, yet you feel trapped. In your own body. In your own self. It’s possible. But if you always want more and you are never satisfied does that make you selfish? Or simply just perfectionist? Idealist? Dreamer? High-achiever? Nevertheless, the feeling is there and you live with it or not. You use it to your own advantage, or you make sure to get rid of it. As soon as possible. But then, when do you know when to stop? When is the maximum and when is the climax?
Now imagine living with these questions daily. Hourly. Am I satisfying enough? Am I being at my highest efficiency and proficiency? As much as it’s a struggle, it brings a whole new dimension of reality and rules into the horizon. It’s an interesting tool that keeps you trapped yet it lets you free to a higher level of consciousness and self-awareness. You are like a predator just in this case, predator on yourself. You keep on watching yourself and you are always ready to hunt for mistakes, for inefficient wasting of time, for unachievement. It’s an interesting game, life game that you do with yourself. It definitely has its benefits and limits, and it’s definitely a useful thing to use to your advantage or disadvantage.
As I said, subject of freedom is complex. You can judge it either way, but everyone feels it themselves and you can definitely not judge the freedom within others. Judge your own freedom. Improve or move on. Satisfy or ignore.
blazer – Promod | shirt/body – Zara | pants – Mango | shoes – Mango
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I have been absent. Fully absent online lately. And completely present offline.
As you might have noticed I have not been that active on social media in the past few months as I might have been a year ago. I have taken some time off. Offline. For myself. I’ve realised I have not been paying enough attention to what is actually going on around me and how it impacts me. The fast speed of life just took over, and seemed like I lost control. i was doing everything fast, just to make it happen, follow the speed, complete the rhythm and try to not lose the track. I did not seem to be in control of myself. My life. I just wanted to make stuff happen. Shooting every day, every week, new post, post by post, unconsciously driving myself to absence.
I dont blame myself, and i don’t blame anyone else for this. It happens. It happens for a number of reasons. But thus, I was able to really discover the importance of arts, self-expression and honesty in the past few months. I really wanted to see what happens when I just live the now. I realise my surroundings and am fully present at any moment. And i loved it. I became much more self-aware.
Thus, it also offered me a lot of time to think. And discover. This doesn’t mean that I am completely done with blogging and social media. It has just begun. I have some exciting projects and plans, and honestly, this is just a beginning of everything. I will be involving much more fun stuff and I will make this blog much more interactive, where I would like you to contribute and play a role. I want to make it more then just a blog where i share my own thoughts and photos. All will follow soon. Until then, live the now and be aware of what is happening.
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what means to be a grown up today? does it mean wear classy clothes, go to 8am-4.pm job and return to a happy family where dinner is served and bed is ready. do the comments “grow up” and “mature already” even mean anything? and does it even relate to me the same as it relates to you? i will get myself into the suit but still be the kid i am. I will do three jobs at the same time, but still party. i will still live in a world of colours and playgrounds, even though the rules should be clear as black and white and the 70% playgrounds have already vanished in the past decade. tweak the definition of the grown up. make it your own. tweak the suit. at the end, don’t even grow up.
suits – Bonne Suits | shoes – Reebok | socks – Monki
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